Bigger Things #68 - Escaping Your Shadow Career
The massive benefits of true time-off and 100% down-days
I’m on holidays this week as it’s my twin sons’ 18th birthday on Wednesday!
For any of you who know me well, you know I’m a little… high strung and a little hype active. 😁😁
I can't really sit still very well and so the first few days of holidays are always a little stressful in a sense.
The beginning of a holiday means that I’m still in work mode, still in super-corporate-boyfriend-Brad-mode (an old nickname Candace’s University friends gave me) and that then makes me stressed out that I’m on holidays and I’m not relaxing yet.. am I over thinking this?? 🤦♂️🤪
The analogy of a cat looking for the perfect place to lie down comes to mind.
I really believe in the benefit of having true downtime, having true 100% down-days that are fully non-work and fully engaged in family and also for ourselves.
I’ve just found there are tremendous benefits to that.
For example, it was only from taking a month-off in 2017 that I had the time to decompress, relax, reflect and think about what I really wanted and that helped determine that we were going to start investing in real estate.
Time off is like starting a fire - the initial match catches a bit of paper and wood on fire but it is only after the fire has been burning for an hour or more that it burns down, the embers form and the really great part of a fire begins.
Downtime is like that too, it takes time to detach and wind down. I spent 2 hours deal with work stuff this morning and after that, I struggle to let it go, to stop thinking about it.
We live our lives in a hyper connected state… I know I give my kids a hard time about their phone and YouTube usage, but honestly I’m probably more addicted than they are.
The algo works and knows me too well 🤣🤣🤣
Once my energy and engagement is on something, it takes hours and days to really truly detach.
We need to disconnect in order to carve out time to just think.
To spend time figuring out what our Bigger Things truly are, what our “own race” really is.
“The advantages of nonaction. Few in the world attain these.” - The Daodejing
If we don’t take the time to do this thinking and reflection, we run the risk of living out a “shadow-career”, a term that Steven Pressfield popularized in his awesome book The War of Art.
A shadow career is a path you pursue that’s closely related to your true calling or creative ambition but it’s safer, less risky, and usually less personally fulfilling.
A shadow career mimics our real passion in some way (same skills, same industry, or same subject matter), it provides security and a socially acceptable role and keeps us “busy” enough to feel productive, while actually helping you avoid facing the fear and vulnerability of doing the thing you really want to do.
Steven gives examples like a person who dreams of being a novelist but plays it safe by working as an editor for a publishing house.
The danger of a shadow career is that it can feel like progress, but it’s often, in a way, a form of resistance… to stay close to the fire without ever stepping in.
Time away allows me to really think about all of this, to reflect on my true calling and my Bigger Things.
I hope you are able to take some true time off this summer.
To Your Bigger Things!
Brad 💕👊
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I wish you a wonderful time off with your family and birthday week. 2 weeks back, I checked your photo with the baby twins on your chest... :) With my kids, I learned like an hourglass, time runs; we can only briefly dip our fingers in, touch the grains of sand.
I also need to reread Pressfield's book.